Nowele (aka A Goose)

General
An actual water fowl who once resided on Jollies discord server. She loves Taylor Swift, writing and cringe.

A Terrible Discovery
Nowelle first found Jollies videos on Youtube while on the prowl to consume more Half-Life content. Only years later would she learn about the platform known as “Twitch”, and start watching gay furry streams. One night, disappointed that the gay furry stream was called off, she noticed that Jolly Wanker was playing a terrible mod. She was greatly surprised to learn that he looked and sounded nothing like Pyrocynical.

However, chat was being oppressed, their furry needs silenced by a tyrant mod. It was no better on the discord where a completely separate despot tried to silence every need. Nowelle vowed to befriend these losers to see what their deal was and whether or not they could be brought to their senses. That was sadly not to be. They were beyond anyone’s help.

Slowly, but surely, Nowelle started noticing that it was not just the two, if fact everyone in Jollies fandom had an issue or a handful. It started becoming even more suspicious when she noticed herself changing as well. At first she discovered a new found fondness for Taylor Swift, as opposed to being indifferent and mostly repulsed by her vacuous love songs. It only got worse, she realized a far more terrible symptom. It was as if some powerful force was compelling her to see this Australian man as more than a man, but in fact a King, of both her heart and soul. A terrible fever befell her and the only remedy was donating money to the now renamed Wangcore, it was a terrible disease with no known cure, simply known as Simping.

It was now clear to her that this was no ordinary man, in fact he was no man at all, he was a lovecraftian horror made flesh. A being so powerful it corrupted everything and everyone around him. The symptoms of exposure to the Jolly entity were as follows: One very extreme case showed signs of terrible mental decay and an extreme obsession with furries and Half-Life mods.
 * Forgetfulness and absent-mindedness
 * Overuse or irrational hatred of the word “owo” and it’s variations
 * The compelling need to say “lewd”
 * Becoming a gay furry
 * Taking an unhealthy interest in Japanese animated media
 * Utterances of nonsensical phrases such as “galunga” and “wheelchair gang”
 * General retardation

A Plan
Nowelle had never been so overwhelmed in her entire life. First, she thought about contacting the Jolly entity itself, see if it could be reasoned with, but quickly dropped the idea when she realized that the mere sight or sound of it caused loss of thought and made her rant incoherent gibberish like the rest of the chat.

There was only one solution left. An old phone number. Resolute, she carefully typed in the number, hopefully they could still be contacted with it, they said they were experts after all.

The dial tone beeped, lonely in the dark room. After a few, agonizing seconds, someone picked up the phone.

“Uh… Hello? Is this the Se…” “Hey-o” interrupted a sickly sweet voice from the other end, “You weren’t thinking of snitching on me, were you?” Nowelle screamed and dropped the phone.''How? ''How did he know? Franticly scrambling to her feet she rushed to check if the doors were locked and closed every window. In all that rush she didn’t notice wafer-thin smoke coming from the dropped cell phone. Suddenly the phone exploded in a loud blast of fire, smoke formed an overly tall figure in a hideous outfit more befit of a gay stripper (see jolly profile) with a pair of orange glowing eyes, grinning maniacally from ear to ear. Nowelle could not utter a word but mutter incoherent sounds, so powerful was his field of retardation.

“You’ve been very naughty, haven’t you?” he teased in his demonic voice “I know just the thing...” He outstretched his cupped hand, “ I will be needing all your spare cash, now”.

Nowelle could not argue as much as she tried, desperately. Only thing she felt was her own hand reaching for the wallet and handing the grinning demon her hard-earned money.

“Really not much this time, eh?” growled the Jolly disappointed, “You know, you should be grateful to give all this money to me instead of that GabeN guy, I’m ten thousand times more handsomer” He said while admiring himself in the mirror, as if he was ready to pounce on his own reflection and ravish it right there.

When he was done leering at himself, he just stood there, weighing the money in his hand as if thinking. “Nowelle” he spoke, not in his demon voice but the regular soft spoken tune, “One more thing. Look at me”.

Knowing to expect the worst, she tried to use all her willpower not to look up, but to no avail. She was a simp after all. He was standing there, smirking.

“LOOK. INTO. MY. EYES.” the demon commanded in his demonic voice. His eyes were big orange beacons of evil, looking away was impossible. The whole world wobbled, there was only Jolly now. She felt fluffy and weird all of a sudden, overcome with sudden panic, she wanted to scream but all that came out was: “HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!” accompanied by spastic flapping of new gained wings.

Jolly laughed maniacally, “And that’s what you get. Stitches get snitches, britches!...Wait, fuck! How did I fuck that up? Shit!” and with that, he dissipated in another puff of foul smoke.

Life as a goose
After a little bit of adjusting, Nowelle found her life as a goose to be pretty darn neat. Although playing video games has become significantly harder, she found out that harassing the local townsfolk and taking their belongings has become a lot easier. She does not hold a grudge against Wangcore. She theorizes that Wangcore might be a victim himself, for it is very likely that his own field of retardation is so strong it affects him as well. Nowelle denies that it might just be the leftover symptoms of The Simping and claims that she is cured.

Quotes

 * "Honk!"


 * "Dumb-arse"

Trivia

 * Nowelle's favourite music act is actually Super Furry Animals, not Taylor Swift.
 * She also enjoys music from such musical giants as Joji, Cole Porter and LIL POCKET KNIFE
 * She often forgets how to spell her own name
 * Nowelle denies ever having a crush on Jolly
 * Nowelle also denies ever sending him failed flirting attempts via donations which Jolly described as "creepy"
 * She thinks Linux is superior
 * This thread should be a warning to all who would doubt that Nowelle's retardation is the greatest there is
 * This is also a monument to the fact that Nowelle is not afraid of cringe and will wallow in huge amounts of it, given even the slightest opportunity
 * Nowelle considers her ability to come up with elaborate fictional stories of comedic tone to be a curse